Foam Rock

I am often deceived in thinking that something is what it isn't. I think of a foam rock. Have you ever seen one? A good one will look just like a rock, it appears dense, heavy and unmovable. But as soon as you put weight on it, it caves in causing you to fall.
We all seek security in our lives, we were created that way. But where we go for that security often leads to insecurity. I have been insecure my whole life and I think I am finally figuring out why. I have let experience tell me who i am, as a result my truth becomes what the world tells me it is. The world's truth is not absolute, it changes, which make for a unstable foundation. Absolute truth is the anchor to security, therefore, without it insecurity sets in. I see this all the time. A man puts his confidence in this high paying job and as long as he makes bank he feels secure, but as soon as that job is in jeopardy, he crumbles under the possibility of loosing it. Or a woman who believes she is loved because of a relationship, but if that relationship ends, she is crushed. Experience can appease our lies or highlight them. That man only believes he is not a failure as long as that jobs holds up, and that woman only believes she is love able as long as that relationship tells her she is. Foam rocks.
I am thrown back and forth, desperate to protect myself from experiencing anything, because with experience comes the possibility of more insecurity. In Jeremiah 17 it says "cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength". We are cursed because we will never find what we are looking for "we will dwell in the parched places of the desert"
So how do I find security? "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends our its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit" The answer is trusting in the only absolute truth. Go to Him and ask Him who you are. He is unchanging and the true rock for our lives. His truth stands forever.
I came up with a simple statement that is a life changing concept. "I want security,but when i place my trust and hope in anything other than God, it will always result in insecurity. "

<3 katie

Welcome to my Blog

Well it is hard to say why I am writing a blog, i didn't have a baby or leave the country, but like those events i feel like a lot is changing in my life and i want to share what i am learning, and experiencing, and i figure very few people are going to stumble across this so i can pretty much write whatever i want.
I had a difficult time coming up with a name for my blog (since it isn't really specific to anything) but it hit me today and i know this is the name for me. I picked the word seek because it is one of my favorite words and the word i spend the most time reflecting on and challenging myself with. I believe that what you seek directly affects everything in your life. Because what a person seeks, tells what their heart wants, it tells what they believe, the way they see themselves and others, and it guides them to make decisions that become the course of their life.
So what do i seek?I seek many things, most of the time without even realizing it, but the only one of great worth is when i seek a relationship with Christ. I say it is the only one of worth because everything else that i seek, that i would call good, flows from that relationship. I seek love, hope, justice, relationships, being known, humility, selflessness, and a pure and devoted heart. If you know me at all, you know that on my own a fail big time with all those things, so i have to give Christ the credit for this new found desire in my heart.

<3katie